Fire and Ice
by NextNothingNew
Summary: A series of conversations between L and Light. Spoilers for L's real name. Set sometime after the Tame Me series. LxLight. Note: some chapters may not be set in the Tame Me universe.
1. Chapter 1

Fire and Ice

_Some say the world will end in fire,_

_Some say in ice._

_From what I've tasted of desire_

_I hold with those who favor fire._

_But if it had to perish twice,_

_I think I know enough of hate_

_To say that for destruction of ice_

_Is also great_

_And would suffice._

-Robert Frost-

Lawlietwalked up behind Light, staring over his shoulder at the small paperback book he held in his hand. "Is that Robert Frost?"

Light jumped, caught off guard, before he attempted to appear as if Lawliet hadn't just surprised him. "Yes. It's Fire and Ice."

Lawliet blinked, leaning over further, and in doing so, touched his cheek to the side of Light's head.** "**I've read that before-"

"When?"

Lawliet thought for a moment, perhaps dragging up some long lost memory. "When I was seven, I think. You?"

"When I was nine."

"What did you think of it?"

"When I was nine?"

"I said 'what _did_', as in past tense, Light-kun."

"When I was nine, I thought it was strange, of course. I remembered reading the Bible-"

"You did?"

"Didn't you?" Light appeared puzzled.

"Yes, but I never pictured you as the religious type."

Light pressed on. "But you read the Bible as well, did you not?"

"Yes, but that was because I had absolutely nothing else to do for five days straight. Given the choice, I would have let the Book lay."

_Curious. _"You don't like the Bible, Lawliet?"

"There are too many different variations of each religion for me to choose without hearing persecution of some sort directed at it. I prefer to remain an atheist. You have an interesting expression on your face. Care to share?"

Light wiped what he knew to be a slightly triumphant expression off his face. "I'm glad my hypothesis was correct, is all. I had pegged you for an atheist."

"Why?"

"You did not seem the sort to believe in a higher power without proof."

"Ah. Well, yes. Where were we? Oh, you were speaking, Light-kun. Please continue."

Light took a moment to recollect his thoughts, which he had been trying to put into words. "Of course. I read the Bible and remembered hearing about…raining fire, if I recall correctly. And I thought it might have been referring to that, at first. I didn't like the idea of raining fire when I was little, or the end of the world, so I didn't think too much about it."

"And so what were you thinking about now?" A relatively simple question.

"…if I would rather die by fire or by ice."

_That is…odd. Well, this is Light-kun, after all. _"You mean by desire or by hate, I assume."

"Yes."

"And, your conclusion is?"

"Ice." _Obviously. _

"…" Lawliet gave him a rather blank stare, albeit confused as well.

"What? Wouldn't you agree?" _Of course not. This is Lawliet, after all._

"No." _Obviously not._ "Why would you prefer ice?"

"If you can focus on the hate, then there is considerably less pain."

"Pain? How can the fire cause pain when the ice can't?"

Light suppressed a sigh. "Fire is desire. Desire is referable to passion, therefore attachment or love of some sort…to be killed by something that is meant to be happiness only increases the pain."

"In other words, you keep an emotional guard up." _I knew that already. _Lawliet placed his hands on the chair back, leaning over further to see Light's reaction.

Light's response was instantaneous. "I never said that. I am simply saying that when you die of hate, you feel hate as well, and are able to control that emotion to a certain extent. Then you can minimize the emotional trauma."

"Both are irrational."

_Everything is irrational. Especially you! _"As Nietzsche said, most humans are and act irrational, so it seems fit."

Lawliet quirked an eyebrow at this. "You regard myself and yourself as other humans?"

"…I was referring to others, not us."

"Interesting. So, you would prefer to die by ice because…it would hurt less?"

"That's right."

"So you do have a guard up."

"Lawliet-"

The other youth cut in on a whim. "I love when you say my name."

"…" A blush tinted the other's cheeks, who remained silent.

"I'm sorry, continue." _So touchy._

Light forced some composure on his behalf. "Yes. Well. Lawliet, any physical pain is undesirable."

"I was not referring to physical pain, and you were not referring to physical pain."

"Masochists aren't limited to just physical pain, but we both already know that. What I am saying is that people in general do not like pain. Therefore, they avoid it. What makes me any different?"

Lawliet pressed on, mostly to see how Light would respond. "You are the one who avoids this particular pain - pain from desire - because you do not wish to experience pain of the heart. Consequently, you do not put trust in people, nor do you rarely desire tangible things. Like people."

"I do so." Another instant, child-like answer.

"You desire attention, power, strength-" He ticked them off on his spindly fingers.

"Wait a minute."

"Yes?"

"I let it go." _For you, too._

"But you craved it, at one point."

_Not anymore. _"And I _do_ crave tangible things. My point is that pain from hate is simply easier to deal with than pain from desire, because it destroys your peace of mind, as well as leave you unsatisfied. And it's usually harder to fix, if you are still alive." _Stop straying from the topic, Lawliet. Such a pretty name…_

"But pain from hate isn't? I see…and what do you crave that is tangible? Give me an example."

"…" More silence.

"Light-kun?" Lawliet prodded, curious.

Light muttered something under his breath, averting his eyes.

"Begging your pardon? I didn't hear you, Light-kun." He cocked his head to the side, straitening up.

"…I said 'you', _Lawliet._" Light let the name roll off his tongue, teasing Lawliet right back.

"…hm. We have something in common, then."

"What happen to your cute awkwardness? Oh, you're blushing. I didn't see that."

"I am not, Light-kun."

"You are mistaken."

"What?"

"Nothing. So, why did you choose fire?"

"You are changing the subject."

Light feigned exasperation. "Would prefer to stay on the other? Your red cheeks?"

"I chose desire because it is better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all. I state this at the risk of sounding cliché and…sappy." _I still sounded sappy…_

Light then spoke without thinking. "You're cute." _Shoot._ "Ah - that's not what I meant to say. But you are cute…" He gave a cough, clearing his throat. "Why do you say that?"

Lawliet's attention was captured, however. "You think I'm cute, Light-kun?"

_It's not completely obvious? _"Well…you didn't answer my question."

"I see."

"Good. Now answer my question." _And don't give me that know-it-all look._

"I _have_ been alone most of my life…you can guess how I felt during my childhood. I suppose I wanted contact…not just physically, but emotionally."

"So why did you push people away?"

Lawliet's voice turned flat. "You know the answer to that. It was extremely dangerous. That, and I never really found anyone interesting. So I desired contact. I could not hate it; I never had it to hate it."

"So you prefer to have it?"

"Yes. What is it, Li-"

Light reached up, gripping the black and unruly locks in a gentle hand, pulling Lawliet over his shoulder. He realized that he'd done this exact same move before, but it didn't matter, because Lawliet's mouth was on his, and it was warm. The warmth was overwhelming, and he slipped his tongue over Lawliet's bottom lip, who smiled, though pleasantly surprised.

"…what was that kiss for?"

"You just looked cute."

_Light strengthen his hold around Lawliet's shoulders, caressing his slim arm with his knuckles. Lawliet's body clung to his, dark eyes shut for once, snuggled up into Light. A breath drifted over his chest periodically, mouth open and touching his skin. Lawliet's legs were tangled in his, groins pressing indecently and unabashed against thighs and hips, as were the rest of their thread bare bodies. A muffled, incoherent sound came from the form he held in his arms, and he kissed the parted lips._

_Maybe fire wasn't so bad. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Judas's Pain**

**A/N:** Sorry for the wait. I got caught up in other fanfics and music and school. Ah, school, how I detest thee. So many end of the year projects, but now most of them are done. Funny, I wrote down three of these, but didn't get the urge to write them until just now, after watching Spirit. My movies where locked up in a storage shed, and mom got a few, so I attacked two of my Rayearth vids, Spirit, and The Thief and The Cobbler. I love 'Here I Am'. Also, this is fairly AU, in case you didn't know. This is after L gave Light the foot massage, after he washed his feet, but in this world, he did not die. (And he never will.) This is very short, but more will be coming, today for sure.

**The Song**: Caught In The Rain by Revis. You'd hear it from DareDevil, the movie. Sorry it's so long, but I couldn't let go of most of the lyrics; they just fit.

**Disclaimer:** L and Light. Not mine. Death Note. Also not mine. Caught In The Rain - to good to be mine. The Bible and it's reference. Definitely not mine. I didn't even know about the event until I saw people point it out on YouTube.

_Is it real_

_We're always the same_

_We're almost alone now_

_I was caught in the rain _

_Wasting my time on the ground_

_Waiting to call_

_What would you say_

_And can you come over?_

_I was caught in the rain_

_Wasting my time on the ground_

_It was you_

_Who could get me high_

_With whatever you say_

_You're telling me something real_

_What we do_

_It doesn't matter now_

_Whatever it takes _

_For you to stay with me_

_Trading thoughts _

_Across from the room_

_I saw you surrounded_

_I was caught in the rain_

_Wasting my time on the ground_

_Feeling small_

_Without an escape_

_I almost let you down_

_Well, I was caught in the rain_

_Wasting my time on the ground_

_It was you_

_Who could get me high_

_With whatever you say_

_You're telling me something real_

_What we do_

_It doesn't matter now_

_When I was caught in the rain_

_You made me feel _

_You made me feel_

_Made me feel _

If Light had been in his right mind at the time, he would have seen the resemblance of the event when L had washed and massaged his feet and when Jesus had washed Judas's feet at the last supper. Not now, when L was sitting at his feet - once again - with his back to him, between his legs, and his head on his lap while he typed on the computer. But he did remember it, remember the feel of L's hands, and how he himself had dried the water from his back, unruly hair. Light stared at L, who steadily stopped typing. L could feel Light's eyes on him, but for once, he didn't know what the silence was about. It was too tense for sweet nothings, but not angry or alarming. L licked his lips, quickly placing a marshmallow skewer into his mouth.

"Light-kun." He stated.

Light blinked, brought out of his own questioning mind. "Hm?"

"What is it?"

Was there any reason to bring it up? They did talk a lot more openly now, mostly because the threat of one of them killing the other had been eliminated. There wasn't any reason to bring it up, but L was asking because he wanted to know, so-

"Light."

"Yes?"

"Stop thinking."

_Right_. A smile touched his lips at the order. He set his hands on L's shoulders, running his thumb under the material. "You remember that day when it rained?"

"When it rained?"

"When we were outside, and we were caught in the rain - remember?"

"When we stopped by the church?"

"And you gave me a foot massage."

"…yes. What of it?"

"Remember Judas?"

L twitched suddenly, right under Light's fingers. He shifter uncomfortably, before saying, "yes." He paused. "You are comparing yourself to Judas?"

"I suppose in this analogy, you would be Jesus."

"Heh. Too big a role for me. But, what of it?"

"Jesus washed Judas's feet, even though he suspected Judas would betray him. It was his way of saying 'I forgive you'…does that mean you forgive me?"

L thought about it. Forgive Light? He would be hard pressed to forgive Kira, but Light was different. He tipped his head back, resting it on Light's inner thigh, staring at him. He pulled Light's right hand out from the front of his shirt, where it had slid to, and kissed the back of it. "There's nothing to forgive…"

_…you never betrayed me._


	3. Chapter 3

-1For you

**A/N**: Look! Another one! Well, for the wait, you all deserve it. For those of you who didn't wait, you get to read it anyway. The song is 'For You' by The Calling. Also from DareDevil. The song could be from both L and Light's point of view, depending on which lyric. You'll figure it out; I know you're all intelligent. The song is only related to the 'fifty day confinement question' the rest of this has nothing to do with it. It's just drunken idiocy.

**Disclaimer**: L and Light are not mine. Death Note is not mine. 'For You' is not mine. I have no sake'.

_I am a vision_

_I am justice_

_Never thought that I could love_

_Living in shadows_

_Faded existence_

_It was never good enough_

_Within the darkness_

_You were the light_

_That shines away_

_You're trapped in violence_

_I can be the man_

_Who saves the day _

_Someone's changed me_

_Something's saved me_

_Now this is who I am_

_Although I was blinded _

_My heart let me find that_

_That truth makes a better man_

_I didn't notice_

_That you were right_

_In front of me_

_A mask of silence_

_We'll put away_

_So we can see_

_I'm there for you_

_No matter what_

_I'm there for you_

_Never giving up_

'_Cause you'll know_

_It's true_

_You were there for me_

_And I'm there for you_

_For you_

_For you…_

L was completely, undeniably drunk.

Light could see this as he laughed, unashamed, leaning his slightly limp form on Light's much more masculine one. It had all started when Matsuda had brought a bit - well, a lot - of alcohol this night on New Year's as a little celebration, because it was a holiday, and they couldn't leave, because there had been a possible tip about a possible threat and the usual had ensued. And Matsuda said it was bad luck to ignore a holiday.

Light abruptly wondered what would happen if L lost all sense and kissed him in front-

Chu!

Light's eyes widen, frozen as L clutched his shoulders, pressing his lips to Light's. He couldn't move; L didn't seem to care.

The others. Are right. Behind you.

Gods.

Instantly, his mind was off on another litany of unending thoughts, but because he knew that there was no way to fix this, therefore no solutions, he thought of complaints instead.

Stupid New Years. Stupid Matsuda. Stupid sake. Stupid-intelligent-yet-dumb-enough-not-to-eat-food-with-said-stupid-sake-drunk L.

L passed out immediately, Light catching him on impulse and instinct, even though all the fibers that created his arms screamed to let him hit the floor.

This was how to make a catastrophe.

Luckily, the others all thought it was just L being drunk, not because he and Light were secret lovers, although Matsuda - of course - had made a joke about it, only for the chief the send him murderous looks and order him to go get more food.

Right. Well.

L was out cold, it seemed, and Light would wake him up in just a few minutes. He callously dropped L onto the bed, who rolled over and sucked his thumb, and sat down at a desk, dragging a pad of paper and a pen to him.

Then, he began to write.

How To Make A Catastrophe

1. Get two intelligent beings; both male.

2. Add a few smart people, mostly adults.

3. Add one idiot + one ditzy model.

4. Have the two intelligent men fall in love.

5. Have them keep it a secret.

6. Add sake, courtesy of one idiot.

7. Have all drink the sake.

8. Have the eccentric genius get drunk.

9. Have everyone else get drunk.

10. Keep other genius sober.

11. Get in front of the said party members.

12. Have drunk genius kiss sober genius.

13. Then have drunk genius pass out, conveniently leaving other sober genius to explain.

14. _Kill drunk genius._

Light stropped writing, and crossed out the last sentence. He could do better than that. He could feed L to a bunch of starving wild reporters who were hungry for a story. He could leave him a room full of Misa's friends for a week, leaving him intellectually scarred.

He could cut off his sweets.

"Nnn…"

Light turned around, watching L sit up on the bed, sighing. He drew his legs up, acting like himself even when he was drunk. Too drunk to think properly. Too drunk to kiss Light, but not too drunk to remember to sit in that bizarre fashion. "Light?"

The quiet, confused voice utterly crushed Light's revenge, dammit.

Light moved over to L swiftly, setting a hand on his shoulder. "What?"

"…how'd I get here?"

"Uh…you fell- er, passed out, I guess. I carried you…are you still drunk?"

"Mm-mm." L shook his head, then squeezed his eyes shut as if it pained him. Well, that was good enough revenge for Light; a hangover. L scooted over to be closer to Light, leaning on him again. They were quiet for a moment, and Light knew L had forgotten about the kiss. He was still slightly drunk, but time had passed, it seemed. They had entered the room at 10:27. It was now 2:14. Light had lost track of time when he had stopped about mid way through the list to stare at L.

"L…Lawliet."

"Yes, Light?" He dropped the '-kun'.

"The fifty days of confinement. If you could, would you take them back?"

It was a question he had pondered on occasion, and had asked on a whim.

"No." The answer was flat and callously matter of fact.

"….." Light wasn't sure what he should say to that.

"But…I wish that I hadn't have…needed to do it…Light…kun…"

Light turned his head, and saw L was asleep again. Amazing. L started sliding over Light's chest, about to fall off and hit the floor, and Light caught him around the waist, setting him carefully back on the bed. He pressed up next to him, believing the sounds of silence had resulted in everyone passing out, and curled his left hand around over L's waist. He traced his way down L's smooth hand, sliding over veins, and rubbed in the groove between the fingers, eventually lacing them together.

L was sitting at the computer, eating candy, while trying to ignore and deny the act of any such hangover, and no Light, he did not want some disgusting un-sugary oyster drink.

"What happened last night?" This was asked because Matsuda kept dropping these odd little hints, which would have worried him that the other _knew_. If not for the fact that they had had a party last night, and L had blacked out. He had probably tried singing karaoke, or something. As it was, he just didn't like the fact that Matsuda knew something he didn't.

"Why don't you view the security tapes?" Light answered coolly. L did. _…I'm drunk, Light is standing, I'm leaning on him, he's staring off into space, I'm kiss-_

"Oh."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Today is the day I get my internet back, but only if I clean out the drawers full of clothes. So, here I am, writing instead. I'm just trying to get more oneshots done, because six new stories obviously isn't enough for my readers. And DN fans need their Fire and Ice pieces, which I have been neglecting. The song is _Every Me and Every You_ by Placebo because I couldn't think of any other song.

**Disclaimer:** I'm sorry I lied! They really aren't mine! ::Runs from lawyers:: Oh! System Of A Down is playing ::Runs to music source::

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Mistletoe

_Sucker love is heaven pucker up, our passions heart's a tart, your body's body's broken, yours is spent._

_Sucker love is known to to cling and waste these up for heaven's 's never been so much at stake._

_All alone in space and time._

_There's nothing here but what here is borrowed, something me and every me and every you,Every me…he_

It is always Matsuda's fault.

That is what Light has _finally_ come to realize. Just like the New Year's fiasco, this was all Matsuda's doing. _Again._

Light was seated in the stuffed chair that L usually sat in, but had vacated when Mogi had arrived with the dessert. Chief Yagami was only staying a half hour before returning home, to Sayu and Mrs. Yagami. He was not happy in the least that Light would be stuck here, with L and the other task force members until they went home.

Not that it mattered to Light, as he didn't mind missing Christmas dinner anyway. He always ate too much, then went to sleep, then had to go out for his morning jog for twice as long to make sure he worked off all the calories. (Not that he had been doing _that_ anymore, as L refused to stop working for more than three seconds at a time).

Christmas wine had been bought, and both L and Light refused it, for reasons that pertained to New Years, a drunk L, a sober Light, and a very public kiss.

Anyway, the others accepted the wine, and the conversation around that table went something like this:

"Ryuzaki, pass the potatoes please." Mogi-san.

"Here you go." Aforementioned detective.

"L, are you going to _anything_ nutritional?" Matsuda.

"Of course not." L.

"L, you are forbidden to touch the pudding or jello until you have eaten some turkey." Light.

"I'm what?" L, startled.

"Forbidden. To touch. The sweets." Light again, highly amused and annoyed at the same time.

"But, Light-kun, that's-!"

"No!"

"But-"

"EAT THE TURKEY!"

L complied, shooting Light angry looks as he tore into the food. "This'll make me sleepy, Light-kun. How am I supposed to work if I'm falling off my chair?"

"Ryuzaki pervert, do you _ever_ quite working?" Misa demanded from Light's other side, as he was pinned between the two of them.

"Yes. I am not a pervert. If you keep eating that much pudding, you will get fat."

"Ryuzaki!" Light cried in exasperation as the others watched in amusement. If they were always playing referee between these two, they would _not_ laugh. No they would not. They would be deeply empathetic and tell Light he did a _wonderful _job, and that he should get a medal. Yes they would.

As they did not, they were content to watch and grin.

"Are you calling me fat?!" Misa cried.

"Did I call you that? Or is your IQ too low to realize the difference between a warning and an insult?"

"Ryuzaki!"

"You-you-you _fag!_"

"_Misa!_"

"Homophobic, superficial bimbo."

"Goddammit, stop it!" Light ordered, watching the two glare and snarl at each other.

"Well, it's time for me to get home." Soichiro said, standing. "Thanks for the dinner." And he walked out the door, leaving his only son to fend for himself. Just like that.

Light's jaw dropped, and he snapped it shut.

Half an hour later (or possibly several hours later) found all the task force members either asleep on the floor, in a chair, or on the coffee table (how did that happen?) except Light, L, and Matsuda. Misa had just passed out _under _the table (no, they didn't know how that transpired either).

Now, Matsuda was up on a ladder, trying to get at a spider up there, and was, mysteriously enough, not drunk. Which was weird, as he had had more wine than anybody.

"It's because," L whispered to Light as they talked, "he always acts drunk."

"So, when he's drunk, we can't tell the difference from when he's sober?" Light whispered back, liking the way L's breath tickled his cheek.

"Because there is no difference." L confirmed. His expression blank, he stared at the drunk-but-not-that-different-from-sober Matsuda climb down.

"Well, that took care of that." He said cheerfully.

"Did you squish the spider on the ceiling or something?" Light asked dryly, glancing up. His expression went from expectant and mocking to slightly alarmed.

"Nah. There was no spider. My mistake."

L has known for awhile that it's always Matsuda's mistake, so it is no surprise as he watched the young officer walk over and pick up the plates.

There's a tug on his sleeve, and the slumped L turns to Light, just in time to receive a kiss.

Light smiles slightly, looking amused. "I think," he says against L's lips, "someone knows our secret." He looks up again.

L follows his boyfriend's gaze, only to see a small green plant with white little berries, hanging from the ceiling above them.

"Mistletoe."

Light smiles. "In return for New Years." And kisses him again.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Look, another one.

**Disclaimer:** Look, another-oh. Um…not mine. There. I confessed.

BTW, if I miss something someone says, I will actually say 'begging your pardon?' Why? Because I'm a freak, but I doubt that bothers any of _you_ people. I love Break Me Shake Me by Savage Garden. I remember first loving it when I heard it on a DracoxHarry vid…I want my internet:Sob:: Anyway, not mine.

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_Selling Your Soul_

_I never thought I'd change my opinion again_

_But you move me in a way that I've never known_

_You move me in a way that I've never known_

_Strait away you just moved into position again_

_You confuse me in a way that I've never known_

_So you're the kind who deals with the games of the mind_

_You confuse me in a way that I've never known_

_You confuse me in a way that I've never known_

_But then I accused you in a way that I've never known_

_But you hurt me in a way that I've never known_

Light was staring at the back of his hands as he typed, not four feet away from the greatest mind in the world, excluding his own.

A human who uses the Death Note can go to neither Heaven nor Hell.

Where did they go then? Reincarnation? Purgatory? Were they just gone? Light thought it might not be pleasant, but if it wasn't Hell…

"Never make a deal with the devil. He'll always trick you."

Light blinked, glancing up. "Begging your pardon?" He replied blankly.

L swiveled in his chair to get a clear sight of Light. "Never make a deal with the devil. He'll always trick you."

How was he supposed to answer to that? "Of course he will. He's the devil. You can't count on him to be honest with you."

L was staring up, expression mildly curious. "Would you say there's a price to pay for everything?"

"…yes…"

"What do you think Kira had to pay to gain this power of killing people without coming in any contact with them?"

Light kept his gaze firmly on the space just over L's shoulder. "His soul, perhaps?"

L smiled that quirky, annoyingly innocent smile of his. "Up two percent."

Light jumped a foot in the chair, startled. "_What_?!" His voice cracked.

"You just confirmed that Kira had to buy this power and not that he had been born with it. How would you know?" If Light wasn't shocked beyond belief at L's audacity, he might have noticed the mischievous gleam in the detective's black eyes.

As it was, he didn't notice it. "You were the one who spoke as if he had to buy the power; I was only answering within the limits of the question-what?"

"I was only kidding, Light-kun." There was laughter behind the words. "Relax."

Light scowled. "Relax? _Relax?_ That's rich, coming from you." he snapped, feeling like an idiot for not realizing it was a joke. And _damn_ him for bringing up what Light had been thinking of. "Besides, if Kira was born with it, then why would he only start killing now?"

"Maybe he only just got a handling on it?" L replied thoughtfully. "Or maybe he just got enough courage to try it out?"

"Or," Light added, caught up in thought, "something could have happened to him, and that incident urged him to start killing criminals."

"Like what?" L asked, resting his hands on his knees in an eager fashion.

"A criminal killed or injured his family? Or he could have been attacked."

"True, but would it be enough to drive someone to start recklessly killing off others? Would they feel justified?"

"Yes," Light replied immediately, then back peddled. "If someone you loved was hurt because of a convict, wouldn't you feel justified? An eye for an eye and all that?"

L opened his mouth, probably on reflex, then stopped. "…I don't know. I don't think I have anyone I really care for, other than you."

Light blinked again, taken aback. "Oh, um." was all he managed. "I mean…well, would you?" the last bit came out rather quiet.

L was silent for a long, long, long time. So long, in fact, that Light suspected he had fallen asleep with his eyes open (which he probably did a lot). "Don't strain your brilliant brain trying to figure it out." Light remarked in a rare show of sarcasm, causing L to smile.

"I was thinking…but about the eye for an eye thing…" he continued, apparently dropping the other question. "Let's say, hypothetically, that Kira's family is killed by a convict. Now, let's say he kills this convict in revenge. I might understand that, but what about the other criminals? They didn't hurt that man's family; why should he kill them?"

Light was off, setting up a debate before he even thought it through. "Even if they didn't hurt his family, they all hurt someone else. It's not that I agree with him on his methods, but people get tired of hearing rapists and serial killers getting minimal sentences as often as they do. That's why many think of Kira as a hero rather than a problem."

"But what about the innocent people he killed? What about criminals who were wrongly accused or framed?" L countered.

"They were going to be punished anyway. And once I heard it was better to let an innocent man die than let a guilty one go."

Although L's expression didn't change, his eyes suddenly seemed accusing. "Is that what you think?" and before he could add that Light's percentage had gone up, Light responded.

"I said 'I heard' not 'I think'. How many criminals and what types has he killed so far? Do you know?" Curiosity emerged.

L whirled to the computer, and Light stood up and crossed to stare over L's shoulder.

"He has killed one thousand seven hundred and ninety-one people (that we know of)," L said. "Twenty-two were innocent people. Five hundred and nineteen of those were people who stole money in some way. Six hundred and twenty-eight were people that were car jackers, gang members, kidnappers, a few kingpins, big time burglars who stole objects of value, and people involved in the black market. Two hundred and two were convicted of manslaughter, two hundred and nine were murderers or serial killers, and two hundred and fifty-five were rapists, and one hundred and sixty-five were pedophiles."

_I did all that? _"And," Light said, masking his pride, "wouldn't you say the world is a better place without those people? Except for the innocent twenty-two?" _Small price to pay._

"You sound like Kira."

"According to you, I always sound like Kira." Light replied, inwardly cringing. _Shit shit shit! _"It's not that I agree, but it's rather difficult to miss the most severs cases, such as the serial killers, murderers, and pedophiles, isn't it?"

"True, but they would have been punished eventually-"

"Unless they were bailed out of it by lawyers." Light pulled on a pained expression, hiding his foolishly obvious ideals. "Or they were in hiding, and the police hadn't found them yet."

"True," L nodded slowly. "I seem to recall a representative saying that it wasn't a problem if people were dropping dead as long as they were criminals."

"And I'm sure someone argued with him?" Light asked.

"They said it was an 'irresponsible' opinion." L muttered absently, thinking on Light's words. They did have a point, but still… "it's not right…"

"No, it isn't, but not everyone will think that." Light sighed. _But most will._

"We completely strayed from the original topic." L pointed out.

"You're right, we did." Light said easily. "Assuming he acquired the power through some sacrifice, what do you think it would be?"

"Perhaps he would be destined to go to Hell?" L stood, pulling Light along with him to the kitchen.

"Or maybe," Light continued casually, "he couldn't go to Hell or Heaven."

L glanced over his shoulder. "But then what would happen? Would he be stuck in Limbo forever? Or would Kira just be gone?"

Of course L would reach the same conclusion as he had.

Light shrugged. "If that's the case, we'll have to ask Kira when we catch him."

L was silent, rummaging around for candy (at least, that's what Light guessed) when he spoke, voice almost in a wondering tone. "You know, I prayed for Kira."

Light was so surprised, he merely stared at the back of L's head. "W-why?" _Brilliant._ "I mean, I thought you were an atheist."

"I am. It was just that once."

"What for?"

L turned, straitening, and Light found himself gently crushed in the other's arms, smothered in the white material at L's neck. He was shocked, so much so that it didn't even register that he should pull away.

"Because if Light-kun _is_ Kira, I didn't want him to go to be punished. You are my only friend."

Light felt an unusual sting of regret. "I see," he muttered, and for the first time in a long time, he realized exactly what he'd done. "Well," he continued after a moment, locking arms around L's waist a little nervously. "It's a good think I'm not Kira, isn't it?"

"Yes," L agreed. "A good thing."

And as L turned back to the sweet finding mission, Light found his thoughts drifting traitorously to things like _forgiveness _and _confession_ and _repenting_.

This led to him subsequently glaring at L for ever bringing the thoughts to his mind.

Because he was not giving up.

He _was not_.

He wasn't…

His steadfast conviction wavered when L offered him a strawberry from his cake.

Goddammit.

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**A/N:** This was _supposed_****to be a **dark** oneshot. DARK! What the hell happened?!?! Am I incapable of writing _any_ angst _whatsoever_?!…well, obviously yes. And the ending was bordering on crackyness. Oh well. Review or die trying!


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